


crush

by reylofics



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Crushes, M/M, Oblivious, Slow Dancing, Teaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-05-20 15:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylofics/pseuds/reylofics
Summary: my take on the scene where zach teaches alex how to dance. rewritten in some (ok, maybe a lot of) parts.





	crush

**Author's Note:**

> i will go down with this flipping ship. i don’t even like 13rw but i just happened to come across that one scene with zach and alex dancing online and the rest is history. that’s all.
> 
> also, this work was inspired by the song “crush” that was recently released by cigarettes after sex. so, i guess you can thank them for giving me a new inspiration to write.

They’re alone in Alex’s room. It’s completely silent. So silent that they can hear each other’s heart beating.

Neither boy says anything to the other. Alex sits calmly on his bed, flipping through his hand-written journal to disguise the fact that he’s really just listening to Zach’s shallow breathing on the other side of the room. His breathing is even but short. Alex likes the sound of it. 

Zach, on the other hand, does not. It’s grown so silent that he can hear his own breathing and it makes him uncomfortable. Impatiently, Zach Dempsey keeps standing at the other end of the room by the doorway. He’s undoubtedly waiting for the younger boy to start the conversation. 

After a long silence, Alex seems to get the message. He doesn’t even look up from his book before starting the conversation monotonously. “Hey.”

Slowly, Alex continues to flip through his book, waiting for Zach’s response. But Zach knows better than to think this is Alex’s way of showing that he’s disinterested. This is just what Alex does when he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s dealt with this many times before.

Zach talks and Alex listens. That’s just the way things are.

“Hey,” replies Zach. He has a feeling that he won’t be the only one talking tonight. “Why’d you call me over tonight?” 

The older boy doesn’t mean to be rude; he’s genuinely curious as to what Alex’s reason is. They’re friends but they don’t usually call each other out of the blue. With Alex, everything is always carefully planned beforehand.

“I—,” starts Alex. He still hasn’t closed his book. Finally, Alex looks up at Zach with a shaky breath. Methodically, he closes his journal and sets it on his bedside drawer. Not knowing what to do with his hands, Alex places them in his lap and tangles them together before continuing. “I called you over because I don’t know how to dance,” admits Alex awkwardly.

Zach laughs. It’s more out of shock that Alex called HIM to teach the younger boy to dance rather than shock over the fact that Alex doesn’t know how to dance.

“H-hey,” Alex tries to recant, “I know how to dance...somewhat.”

Again, the older boy laughs. “You’re just terrible at it?” he supplies, raising an eyebrow in return.

“I’m pretty shit at it,” admits the brown-haired boy quietly. His fingers continue to nervously tangle themselves within one another.

Alex’s friend senses his discomfort over the situation. He attempts to alleviate the pain of the dancing situation by enlightening Alex with his own stories of failure. “If it helps, I’m pretty shit at writing,” Zach whispers.

The younger boy cracks a smile. “So am I.”

His friend rolls his eyes on the other side of the room while crossing his arms. “No, you’re not. You’re actually pretty amazing at it.”

For some reason, this makes Alex’s insides tingle. The compliment would sound like music to his ears coming from anyone else but it sounds a million times better coming from Zach Dempsey. He quickly ducks his head down, attempting to hide the growing red blush on his cheeks. Honestly, he can’t tell whether he’s blushing from the compliment or the fact that he’s received a compliment from ZACH. Either way, he’s still madly blushing.

Then he goes and fucks it all up. “I wanna learn to dance for Jessica.”

He doesn’t know why he says it. All he knows is that the mood in the room has significantly darkened. Tilting his head up, Alex sees the smile in the other boy’s face weaken for a split second. Then Zach’s smile reverts back to normal like nothing is wrong.

“Of course,” Zach grins. “Only the best for Jessica!” His tone is cheery but Alex knows it’s all forced.

On the inside, Zach is crumbling. Of course it’s Jessica. It’s always Jessica. Jessica has always been there for Alex in his times of need. So, really, truly, honestly, Zach doesn’t know why he’s mad about this. (Actually, he does know but he won’t admit it to himself. He won’t say it aloud. He can’t risk fucking things up more than they already are.)

“So, uh,” Alex nervously says, “can you teach me how to dance?”

Then he smiles in the small way that he always does and Zach doesn’t know how to say no. He can’t say no. Won’t say no. But he says it anyways, in a loathing moment of weakness and jealousy.

“No.”

The younger boy bites his lip in anticipation. “What?” He seems thoroughly confused.

Zach walks over to the edge of Alex’s bed and stretches his hand out for the other boy to take. He thinks for a second and suddenly regrets saying no to the sweet boy across from him. “I’m kidding,” he assures, trying to mask the pain he feels in his heart with a wide smile. “Now, are we dancing or what?”

The paler boy fiddles with his fingers for a second before taking Zach’s outstretched hand. The small little smile comes back to his face while Zach pulls him up to stand in front of him. His muscles ache and his bones ache but it’s all worth it to dance with his best friend. Alex has momentarily fucked things over between them but he knows he can still count on Zach. When he falls, Zach will catch him.

Then he, quite literally, falls in Zach’s arms. Alex’s knees buckle under him for a second. The older boy quickly catches him and pulls him upright, though. Alex offers a small smile to the other boy as his thanks. He notices that the small tingle in his sides hasn’t diminished in the slightest bit. If anything, the tingling in his sides has grown to reach his aching heart. Alex doesn’t like what this means. For the time being, he decides to try to push these curious feelings aside and just focus on dancing. He miserably fails at doing so.

“Shit, you okay, man?”

“Yeah.” The word rolls crisp off Alex’s tongue and comes out a bit more abrasively than he intended. Struggling, he tries to reword his previous statement into a kinder one. “I’m fine,” he finally relents, softer this time.

Luckily for him, Alex doesn’t realize that they’re holding hands until he feels a tight squeeze in his hands as an act of reassurance from Zach. Stupidly, he tries to ignore the tingling sensation that is now ringing all over his body. Honestly, he might as well have a big red sign over his head pointing to Zach that says “Crush”. It’s all too much for him.

Alex clears his throat, setting Zach back into what he originally set out to do: Teaching Alex Standall how to dance. 

Hurriedly, Zach unclasps his right hand from Alex’s left and places the other boy’s hand right above his hip bone. He does the same with the other hand, ignoring the sparking sensation that Alex’s callous hands send up his back. Zach tries not to think about Alex doing this with Jessica. It’s not that he doesn’t like her—Zach adores Jessica, just not the pain that she’s bound to cause his best friend with the recent return of Justin Foley.

“You alright?” Alex inquires while biting his lip, snapping Zach back into reality. “You’re like...lost in space or something.”

“Don’t worry about me,” laughs Zach. “We’re here for you. Not me.” With that, the older boy places his hands on both sides of the younger boy’s neck. “Follow my lead.”

Alex does. He follows Zach’s slow footsteps. One, two, one, two. The motions are simply elegant and the silence between them makes the moment even more intimate than it already is. They stay doing these repeated motions in the constricted space of Alex’s room for what feels like eternity until the older boy breaks the blissful silence.

“So,” Zach begins to say, not knowing whether his next move will end up as a surprise or disaster, “Jessica might lean her head against your chest when you dance together and all you’ve got to do is rest your head on hers.” He tries to not make the pain he feels when saying her name nor the desperate tone of his voice visible to Alex. Instead, he scoots closer to Alex to cover the gushy feelings that he experiences every time that he’s with him. (Those feelings are still yet to be admitted aloud by either boy.)

Surprisingly enough, the movement from Zach doesn’t end up in disaster. Preciously slow, Alex leans his head against Zach’s chest. Zach can almost feel his heart swelling with emotions and beating hard under Alex’s resting body. The darker-haired boy leans his head down slightly to match Alex’s and holds him in his arms. His best friend reaches around the small of the older boy’s back and holds onto him tightly, afraid to let go. They’re silent.

The world around them disappears until the only two people left standing are Alex Standall and Zack Dempsey.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading and making it to the end. please leave a comment if you’d like! :) 
> 
> update: the original version of this story was posted on june 10th, 2018 but it has since been updated and revised.


End file.
